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TERMS OF USE AND USER POLICY AGREEMENT: effective January 1, 2007

This site is intended for adults and should not be accessed by anyone under the age of 18 years old.

If you do not agree with any of the policies listed in this page then do not join. By purchasing our services or products you are explicitly stating that you understand and agree to any and all the terms listed herein.

Be aware that to be a member of CertifiedAsshole.Com you must qualify by taking an entrance exam. If you are any kind of asshole at all you will easily be able to qualify at one of the 5 asshole levels mentioned on the "types of assholes" page on this site. The testing fee charged will give you 2 and only 2 opportunities to pass the Asshole Certification Exam. If you are unable to qualify in the two attempts provided you will not become a member of CertifiedAsshole.Com and will be required to pay for additional attempts. You must take the exam within 6 months of purchase or all fees will be forfiet. Once you have been rated at one of the five (5) possible levels of asshole you will become a current member of CertifiedAsshole.Com. Your membership will be valid for 2 years from the date you qualified. We will notify you at the email address you have on file with us before your membership expires, so that you may renew your certification.

Since we don't want to be a bunch of Assholes tied up in court with other Assholes we are required to say the following:
CertifiedAsshole.Com is for entertainment purposes only. Any statements made are for entertainment purposes only and in no way are intended to disparage, belittle, mock, ridicule, criticize, scorn, or vilify any individual, groups of individuals, companies, organizations, religions, races, genders, or anyone or their character or reputation or anything else. Further, CertifiedAsshole.com, employees of CertifiedAsshole.Com, CertifiedAsshole.com parent companies, affiliates, suppliers, etc. in no way represent to have any particular skill or ability to identify the psychological status, mental state, personal or professional abilities or habits of an individual, group of individuals, companies, organizations, religions, races, genders, or anyone. In other words, this is all for fun, if you don't like it don't read it, and DO NOT FOR ANY REASON TAKE IT TO BE SERIOUS OR PERSONAL. CertifiedAsshole.com, it's parent companies, affiliates, suppliers, etc. in no way take responsibility for the content of any posting, editorial, or any other statements written or otherwise, of the clients/customers/members of CertifiedAsshole.com. In other words just cause some asshole is certified by us, that does not make them a spokesman for us, nor does it mean that we agree with everything, or for that matter anything, that the asshole(person(s)) says or does.

Basically, being Assholes we stand by the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America, and everything you read here that was written by us is just our opinion, from our limited perspectives, and we love to share our opinions. Also, remember, that by visiting this site and reading our pages you have solicited our opinion. If you don't want our opinion you can leave our web site and never return. Since we are just a bunch of assholes we couldn't care less what you do and for that matter what does anyone care about what a bunch of assholes think anyway.

Now one more thing you need to understand is that this is not a public forum, and your right to free speech does not apply here. This is a private business and we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. Not that we don't want to hear what you have to say, we are just stating that if you are being unreasonable, abusive, threatening, or a possible myriad other reasons, we might just drop you as a member with no warning whatsoever. So behave like an adult and everything should be just peachy.

That being said, there are some things we simply will not tolerate and can be a reason for us to immediately disconnect your user account. If we disconnect your account for any reason do not expect to get any refund from us in any way shape or form, because we don't offer any refunds for services for any reason. The perceived severity of the violations will be STRICTLY AT OUR DISCRETION. WE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY KIND OF TERRORISM ON OUR SITE AND WILL IMMEDIATELY REPORT ANYTHING DEEMED TO BE TERRORISM OR TERRORIST THREAT TO THE APPROPRIATE LEGAL AUTHORITIES, SO DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT IT! We do not tolerate abusive attacks on people’s race, creed, religion, sexual orientation, etc. We also will not tolerate any threats of ANY KIND. The terms "abuse" or "abusive" as they apply here will be interpreted STRICTLY AT OUR DISCRETION. In other words we are the final word on whether or not anything you post on our site is considered abuse or abusive in any way. It's alright to have an opinion and share your opinion here as long as you’re not a JERK about it. Assholes are capable of being literate and persuasive in their arguments without being downright rude or abusive. Simply treat people with respect even if you don't agree with them and we will all get along just fine.

All parties involved in the exchange of money for goods and/or services offered on this website agree to mediate any legal action in binding arbitration with the appropriate court of competent jurisdiction within Bedford County, Tennessee. All parties agree that no other court has jurisdiction over any trade relationship or any other aspect or interaction between the parties. Further the prevailing party shall have a right to recover all relevant court costs and attorneys fees. If any part of this agreement is found to be unenforceable by a court of competent jurisdiction then all other parts shall remain in force.

All persons who become members of this site agree to take full and unconditional responsibility for any/all other person(s) they allow to view or otherwise access the contents of this website. All persons purchasing goods or services from this website swear that they are at least 18 years of age and are of legal age within their area of residence and are capable of entering into this agreement legally. This website, its creator, owner, affiliates, suppliers, and members take no responsibility for the inability of a parent to control their children, and also take no responsibility for neglectful, permissive, uncaring, oblivious, unaware, or incompetent parents.

Any person(s) found to be using our email server to send spam, unsolicited, or abusive emails will have their account immediately terminated, and will be reported to any legal authorities deemed necessary.

No refunds for services will be given for any reason.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE OUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS DON'T JOIN!